Why Discernment Matters In the Second Half of Life

St. Ignatius developed his method of discernment in response to what we could label his mid-life crisis. In 1521, at the age of 30, Ignatius suffered injuries in battle that effectively ended his career as a soldier. During his long recovery from a severe leg injury, he experienced a profound transformation that dramatically turned his life towards God. He began documenting this experience, and his writing, “The Spiritual Exercises,” was eventually approved by the Pope and published in 1548. Ignatius intended this as a guide to help others undertake a similar life transition experience (minus the cannonball injury).

It’s significant that Ignatius experienced this transformation at an age that was considered mid-life at that time. Although our second half of life may start at an older age, like Ignatius, it’s likely to start when we experience a significant change in our lives.

For some, the decision to retire is the change that disrupts our lives. You may be retiring from a traditional career after spending decades developing the specific skills needed for your job and focusing on career advancement. Or you may be winding down the responsibilities of raising a family. Alternatively, you may have already done much of your own transition, but now your spouse is retiring, and this will significantly change the rhythm of your days and the structure of your life. Or, maybe you’re currently dealing with a significant illness or decline in your physical capabilities that requires major changes in your daily life.

The transitions that we inevitably experience in the second half of life give us a unique opportunity to become adept at the process of discernment. And at this stage in our lives, we have the life experience to put the techniques into practical use.

The first reason this is an excellent time to sharpen our discernment skills is that we’re likely reconsidering our priorities. As we leave behind careers or raising a family, we’re naturally drawn to question what our days will now look like and what we will do to find meaning. We will be facing many choices – some small and some more significant. Learning a discernment process provides practical help in navigating these decisions.

Second, we’re likely taking a close look at the spiritual dimension of our life and considering how it will contribute to our second half of life. At this stage, it’s common to wonder whether there’s something more to life than what we focused so firmly on building in the first half of life. We may be considering if we can develop a deeper relationship with God and pay more attention to where God is leading us. We’re also realizing, at a more visceral level of knowing, that our lifetime truly is finite, and we will die. We want to know if our faith can help us reach a place of peace with this inevitability.

For many people (even those who don’t consider themselves religious), interest in religion and spirituality unexpectedly increases in midlife. And at this stage, we’ve learned that nothing in life is as neat and unambiguous as we’d like it to be. We’re better able to have an adult version of faith, one that is more accepting of the inherent mystery of God. We can be more tolerant of the inconsistencies of religion yet also appreciate the beauty and comfort that faith provides.¹

Although we become more receptive to pursuing our faith, we may still be carrying an understanding of our faith that we received as children. Unless we’ve specifically sought this, we likely haven’t had an opportunity to study our faith from an adult, mature perspective. We may never have learned about practical resources in the Catholic tradition, such as the discernment process developed by St. Ignatius. Now is a perfect time to explore the faith tradition more deeply.

Third, many of our previous obligations are over. We may even wonder how to fill our new blocks of free time. You may have had a nagging desire to go deeper in your faith, but other responsibilities demanded your time. Like anything else, practicing faith requires time and effort. Now, we can prioritize this persistent desire and dedicate time to it. But once we’ve recognized this desire, determining how to build an adult faith can be overwhelming! Learning and practicing discernment is a specific and practical place to start.

Fourth, learning discernment allows us to leverage our strengths in the second half of life. We know ourselves better than we did when we were younger – we’re aware of the patterns our mind tends to follow and habitual behaviors that may no longer serve us. Knowing our specific strengths and areas of weakness enables us to follow the discernment process more effectively.

Finally, discernment and decision-making may seem like an odd choice to focus on since so many of life’s most significant decisions have already been made. But now, the remaining choices are even more important. Our priorities are apt to be shifting from “accumulating” to being of service to people in need or causes we deeply believe in. We are thinking about the legacy our lives leave behind and how others will remember us. We might also have an opportunity to guide and mentor others. Developing the ability to make better decisions can significantly impact how we respond to these desires and how meaningful we make our remaining days.

A Closing Prayer

God, as I navigate the second half of my life, give me the insight to see how to apply the strengths and wisdom that come with age, rather than focusing only on what I’m losing. For my remaining years, help me make good choices about how to spend my time and what to prioritize. Even if I don’t now have the desire to specifically follow the Discernment of Spirits process, grant me some insights that I can use to follow You better in my daily life.

Amen

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Footnotes

1. These ideas come from the book From Strength to Strength, by Arthur C. Brooks. For my summary of this book, see this post. ↩︎