After you’ve made a tentative decision, there’s still one more step before you commit to the decision.
Before starting to take action on our tentative decision, St. Ignatius tells us to seek confirmation that we’ve made a good decision. Prayerfully offer the decision to God and then look for confirmation. Basically, you’re giving God one last opportunity to let you know if this isn’t the right direction for you to follow. St. Ignatius doesn’t elaborate on exactly how to do this, but Mark Thibodeaux offers some practical suggestions.1
As one option, you could seek inner confirmation. In prayer, imagine shutting down all the other options and telling people your decision. Imagine living with the decision and the long-term consequences. While doing this, notice how it feels to have made this decision.
Do you sense joyful anticipation (or at least tranquil acceptance) as you consider the consequences of living with this decision? Or is there a deep sense of dread? (Even the best decisions will have some drawbacks or downsides. Those aren’t reasons to doubt the choice. But overall, you should notice the characteristic feelings of consolation.)
The other option is to seek some outer confirmation. If you’re feeling confident of your decision, in prayer, you can visualize offering this decision to God and ask for confirmation that you are on the right path. Or if you’re still feeling unsure, in prayer, tell God that you’re not positive this is the best choice, but that you’ve done your best to make a choice, and you’re going to proceed with it unless God gives you a concrete sign that you’re on the wrong path.
Then, pay attention and notice how easily doors open toward the option you’ve chosen. St. Ignatius says that confirmation will be “easing and taking away all obstacles, so that the person may go forward in doing good.” He compares this to water falling on a sponge versus water falling on a rock. A drop of water falling on a sponge is soothing or encouraging. But water on a stone can feel startling, loud, and disturbing.
While seeking confirmation, remember that you’re not waiting to feel totally certain. Thidobeaux reminds us, “God never promises certainty. Sometimes I’ll have it, but often I won’t. Often I’ll simply have to make my choice, not knowing for sure that it is the better choice but trusting that God knows my heart and will bless me for the attempt to do His will, even if I accidentally miss the mark.”2 As a struggling perfectionist, I find comfort in this.
It’s helpful to know yourself and your typical decision-making process at this final point in the discernment process. Do you typically doubt your decisions, second-guess yourself, and delay taking action? If so, be wary of the temptation of getting stuck in this state, constantly looking for more signs of confirmation. Conversely, if you typically rush to take action after reaching a decision, you may be tempted to skip this step altogether.
After receiving confirmation, it is time to act! But Thibodeaux3 cautions us that you may experience one final attempt by the false spirit to derail your well-discerned choice. You could start to doubt the process or feel guilt or another of the feelings associated with desolation. But if you have followed the process, consider where these feelings come from and whether you should pay attention to them.
Suppose you don’t experience either positive or negative confirmation. In that case, you may decide to put off the decision (if that is an option), look for confirmation for one of your alternate choices, start the discernment process again from the beginning, or use reason (i.e., a pros/cons list) to make the choice.
Although it’s not usually this dramatic, I had a powerful confirmation of my decision to pursue a theology degree. The idea of studying theology first occurred to me in the spring. By early summer, I had tentatively decided to pursue this and was planning to apply for a degree program the following year. But instead of waiting, my spiritual director encouraged me to contact the college immediately to get info on the whole process. I got an appointment very quickly and found that although all the application deadlines had long since passed, they would consider my application for the fast-approaching fall semester! Every piece fell into place, even though I half-heartedly attempted to slow down the process. (That final attempt by the false spirit kept telling me that I was too old, the program was too expensive, and the whole thing too impractical.) Less than 90 days later, I was in a classroom, half-terrified at being plunged into the Gospel of Mark, but beginning my studies. It was still impractical and expensive, but I had a deep sense of peace and certainty that this was the right decision.
A Closing Prayer
God, when I’ve made it this far in my discernment process, I ask You to provide me with clear confirmation so I can move forward to take action. Also, give me the wisdom to realize that sometimes there isn’t just one right choice, but that You are sending me several invitations from which I can choose. Although one choice may bring me the greatest fulfillment, any of these choices may make me happy. Let me have faith that You will guide me along whichever path I choose.
Amen
Footnotes
Falling Up After 50 
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